a little more time
by hakanaii
Summary: It's as if everything else is aligned but them.
1. Chapter 1

"Lelouch."

"Hm?" The response is sleepy, looking up from his book to the person pulling their hands through his fine hair. The shade above them a canopy of privacy.

"I have to go back soon. Your father's going to start asking questions."

"So let him ask, Suzaku." He turns the page and continues to read.

"That's not our agreement. Euphy is being very kind to us, but we're putting her in a position as well. I don't want her to get in trouble for lying."

Lelouch snaps the book shut. All Suzaku does is think about others. Others that aren't them. Why couldn't he be selfish just once. Abandon rules and contracts to follow his heart, especially when he aches to spend a few measly hours a week with him.

If it's not Schneizel making him play military tactician, it's Euphemia dragging Suzaku along with her on public appearances. How they even had time to fall in love outstands him.

"Euphemia can hold off Father for at least another twenty minutes, Suzaku. So just sit back and relax." After this very moment they won't be seeing each other again for a long time.

Lelouch is still tense, but Suzaku's fingers go back to sifting through his hair. It really is a perfect day, warm and clear. The fountain water rushes steadily as birds whistle to one another in secession; it's as if everything else is aligned but them.

"Love," Lelouch calls turning in Suzaku's lap to him in the eye.

"Hm?" Suzaku's fingers let go of those fine hairs to drag down the side of Lelouch's face until they cup around his thin pale face. Truly the face of a Britannian prince intoxicated with the love of his pauper of a Knightmare pilot. What he'd give to kiss the face that looks at him with suck longing, but the Imperial Palace is full of prying eyes even in the private garden of the Aeries Villa.

"I'm going to destroy Britannia and build it a new. Just for us." Lelouch leans in closer until their noses touch. "I want to live in a world that we can be happy in."

"You do that, Love," Suzaku says sarcastically. Unimpressed, Lelouch crinkles his nose before kissing him with ferocity, teeth scrap against each other as thoughts shout out in a distracting manner while a plan formulates on how to discredit the Emperor's reign.

"I will, watch me," Lelouch proclaims, pulling away only to touch another kiss to his love's lips. "I'll make sure we align."


	2. Chapter 2

based on this t-shirt my neighbour bought her daughter. Quote: "I'm a princess, Mommy's a Queen and Daddy's around here somewhere."

* * *

Lelouch doesn't like sending Suzaku out to do the shopping. Not because his partner is incapable, he just happens to buy nonsense things. Like this.

"What the hell is this!" Lelouch doesn't like to swear, it's undignified but sometimes its necessary. Especially when looking at this ridiculous onesie.

"Don't you think it's cute?" Suzaku grins.

"You're inferring something I'm not fond of Suzaku."

Suzaku's grin widens. "Mommy is a Queen though."

"Shut the fuck up and take it back to the store this instant."

Lelouch hates when Suzaku pouts, his lip juts out in this uncharacteristically attractive way and his eyes - already impossibly large - grow even larger. Stupid, irresistible puppy dog charm.

"But Lelou, don't you think our daughter's a princess?"

"She certainly is, and Daddy's definitely gonna be around here somewhere after this as he will not be in Mommy's bed." Dammit.

"Excellent, thanks Mommy," Suzaku says smugly as he heads towards the stairs to change Tanya into her new outfit.

"I wasn't joking about you sleeping on the couch, Suzaku!" The response he gets is a fit of laughter. Lelouch sighs, he's never letting Suzaku do the shopping again.


	3. Chapter 3

It's too hot, that's why he can't sleep. It has nothing to do with his thoughts circling around like the ceiling fan above.

It's too hot. Summers in Japan have always been a little much for him, but Suzaku insisted they take Tanya out to the park.

Lelouch grips the bedsheet between his fingers as he squeezes his eyes hoping to suppress the image that comes to mind. It only formulates more clearly in the dark.

"Lelou- don't hog the blankets," Suzaku grumbles sleepily.

"I'm not."

Looking over his shoulder, Suzaku cracks open an eye before shutting it again and dropping his head back onto his pillow. "Why can't you sleep?"

"I'm working out the details of the proposal I'm submitting to Cornelia in regards to our new tactical regime."

Suzaku doesn't reply.

Lelouch assumes he falls asleep, leaving him alone again with his thoughts of taking Tanya out to the park. There were so many things he could've said, why hadn't one of those things come to mind. Why did he stand there slack jawed? Why did Suzaku have to come to his rescue? Why couldn't he rescue himself?

"You're worrying about it, aren't you? What that woman said." Suzaku looks over at Lelouch, wide awake with knitted brows and a scowl on his lips. He really has done his best not to scowl at Lelouch since he became a permanent fixture in Tanya's life.

Lelouch glares. " Don't say it like I don't have a reason to be agitated by it. I _am_ self-conscious."

"With all your pride you make it difficult for me to take you seriously when you say things like that." Suzaku's scowl cracks into a small smile as he props himself up onto his elbow. "However, you've always been rather sensitive about your pretty face."

"It's not...I just…" Lelouch says after taking a deep breath.

"I know you're not a woman."

"Obviously." Lelouch rolls his eyes.

"Anyways," Suzaku glowers. "Even if Euphy and Nunnally made you look like one when you were in the Palace, or when Shirley calls you Lulu, or when some woman sees your pretty face pushing a stroller. You're just as much a man as I am." He touches his lips to Lelouch's but Lelouch pulls away.

None of that changes the fact that he'd slender, pale, has longer hair than the average male. Maybe Euphy had put him in one too many dresses. Maybe it's the thought of Euphy having been in a position like this with Suzaku that makes Lelouch hate the skin he's in. Maybe the thought of just standing next to Suzaku makes him feel helpless all over again. As if Suzaku has gone back to playing knight while he's the damned prince locked back up in his tower. He doesn't need rescuing from himself.

"Love?" Suzaku presses his lips to Lelouch's cheek.

"What?!" Lelouch snaps. He doesn't want to hear it anymore. It's four in the morning and he's all lectured out about this now.

"I like what we have," he says with a warm smile while weaving their fingers together. "I may tease you about the whole Mommy thing but I've always liked who you are. What we are. For many years now. "

Lelouch squeezes Suzaku's hand, tightly, his eyes drifting from the euphoria on his partner's face to the stucco ceiling and the whirling fan. It doesn't change, but at least it's something. He could have been rejected after what he did to Euphy, but Suzaku remained steadfast in his life. Maybe it is okay to still be rescued from time to time. He doesn't always have the means to rescue himself.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm done, can I go out to play now?" Tanya doesn't wait for an answer before sliding out of her chair and putting her dinner plate along with utensils in the sink.

"Did you finish your homework?" Of course it would be Lelouch to halt her energy to worry about her academics. Suzaku doesn't need to hear her groan to know she's frustrated with his constant fussing.

"Yup. And I did the extra questions. And I left the textbook and my notebook on your desk in the study so you can double check my answers." Tanya turns to say with a smug grin on her face. Lelouch has definitely rubbed off on her more and more over the years. Suzaku isn't sure if it makes him happy or sad. "Can I go now?!"

"Yes,yes, go, before you Dad asks you anything else."

"Great, bye!" Tanya dashes back over to the table, pecking both their cheeks, then out the door without so much of a mention when she'll be home. What it's like to be a child again…

"She's grown up to be just like you hasn't she?" Lelouch sighs as he gathers the empty plates together. "Up and ready to go and be an exercise nut at any moment."

"Doesn't it make you feel bad that your daughter is more fit than you?" Suzaku chuckles but it filters into a thick silence. Lelouch isn't laughing, glaring, or making any other humourous express. His eyes are narrow in thought.

"Lelouch…"

"She's… been asking me about her mother…" Lelouch answers with uncertainty in his voice but his eyes are wider as his brain cycles around itself puzzling out a solution that will make her questions stop. But they both knew she would ask one day. Suzaku has walked by the bathroom before bed and watched as Tanya tugs on her rose-coloured waves while staring at her green eyes.

"What does she ask?"

Lelouch doesn't respond right away. "…what was she like…was she pretty…am I anything like her…"

"How have you answ-"

"Nothing!" Lelouch bolts from his chair. "I can't! I… don't know how." He falls back down onto the wood with a thud along with his head in his hands. "She'll hate me if she knew. She won't understand, she's you and Euphy. Not me. No matter how hard I try I can't…"

Suzaku presses a kiss to the top of Lelouch's head. "Don't worry about it. I'll handle it."

Lelouch doesn't look up, but the gentle tilt of his head towards Suzaku is enough for right now. No Tanya won't understand, no matter how many times and how many different ways they will explain it. They took away her mother; how would she be able to comprehend why. She probably will end up hating him, hating them both. But that's for later. Much later. Right now, they love each other and everything is fine.


	5. Chapter 5

"...do you remember stargazing back home?"

"Y-yeah? A little hard to forget."

"Do you think Euphy was upset about it? Us falling asleep under the stars like that?"

"..."

"..."

"...I think she was less inclined after her and I married. For good reason."

" She knew I loved you."

"Lelouch, if this is another one of your self-pity evenings I want no part of it. You know how I feel about you, us, and Euphy."

"..."

"..."

"I miss stargazing, Suzaku. And sometimes I miss being out at Aeries Villa with you, Nunnally, and Euphy. Even Clovis and Cornelia joining us wasn't so bad..."

"Lelouch...love.."

"Yes?" He turns to Suzaku, hair splayed over the pillow with a dreamy smile on his face as he twines his fingers through Suzaku's. "You should pay attention to the stars, you can see Aquarius tonight."

Suzaku jerks his hand away. "Where is it? He barks, sitting up and tugging up the pajama sleeve of the arm Lelouch extended to him.

"Where's what?" Turning on the light, Suzaku can see the glazed over look in Lelouch's violet eyes and the pinhole pricks along his forearm. Not again. He promised he'd stop when they moved to Japan. He promised not to let Tanya see. Lelouch has always been a liar,

Throwing Lelouch's arm back against his chest, Suzaku bolts out of bed with rage and anguish. He pulls out every drawer, looks under every pillow - even the loose floor board Lelouch thinks Suzaku doesn't know about. He eventually finds the black box of refrain under the bed, its still open with the vial still attached to the dispenser. Un-fucking-believable!

Neither does Suzaku hesitate to smash the vials to pieces all over the floor nor Lelouch stop him - just starts to cry.

"Suzaku, I -"

"Save it! I'm tired of listening to your excuses! I'm sleeping on the couch. When you're ready to stop being a spoiled prince about your grief come find me!" Suzaku shouts as he grabs his pillow and walks out of the room, not looking back. Ge can already hear Lelouch's pathetic sobbing. It'll be a miracle if they don't wake Tanya at this point.

Half way down the flight of stairs, the creek of the floor boards alert him to the soft spoken voice that calls out "Daddy" and for a split second he thinks about going back. To comfort the broken prince of the empire. But what is there to comfort? What could he possibly say? It would genuinely be nice to go back to the past to see Euphy one more time. It's just that this is the future. Their future. The one they sacrificed so much to have. Shouldn't that mean more than the dead Euphemia Kururugi (nee li Britannia) and Lelouch's absent siblings? Isn't he enough?


End file.
